


Bram Stoker Never Even Visited Transylvania

by DietS0daS0ciety



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Brotzly - Freeform, Case-ish Fic, DGHDA Christmas Mini Bang, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Season/Series 01, Sort Of, Spooky, anyway i enjoyed myself, i mean i tried, mostly anyway, oh my gosh the whole thing is just sad and ambiguous, this took me three months imagine how long finishing it would take me, works as a standalone but would probably do well with having a second part
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 07:37:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13142058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DietS0daS0ciety/pseuds/DietS0daS0ciety
Summary: Dirk and Todd take a case that is a very long way away, and probably isn’t best for someone who scares easily.Alternatively: Dirk is pretty pleased with the fact that the universe seem to want him and Todd alone in a creepy castle at 3am.





	Bram Stoker Never Even Visited Transylvania

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like this is a lot fluffier in my head, but I wrote it as a Brotzly fic and I'm gonna keep it that way.

Todd lay on the sofa, phone in hand as a cruel laziness swept over him. It had only been days since the Agency closed their last case, but he’d already managed to succumb to the easy life of laziness. There was a news article on his phone, illuminating his face but not even Todd was sure that he was reading it. His apathy for anything and everything had practically taken over and he was more than tired enough to let it.  
He was pretty sure Dirk was in the room, making noise, existing. Todd knew that soon he was going to have to deal with an excited ball of energy and that wasn’t particularly something he was ready to deal with. Especially when it’s Dirk.  
Just as Todd was mindlessly searching for something new to ignore on his phone, Dirk’s voice booms across the whole apartment, “We should go somewhere!”  
Todd doesn’t want to acknowledge Dirk, since the tone of his voice definitely suggests something a little more ‘out there’ than going down to the shops.  
But this is Dirk, and he needed to acknowledge him because Dirk would probably drag the sofa out from under him. So Todd did the best he could, and acknowledged the proposal with an exaggerated sigh.  
It’s hardly surprising that Dirk continued on in the same excited tone that he always has, no matter how mundane the situation (“But Todd if we get another 3 boxes of Cheerios we can get half price tickets to Alton Towers” “Dirk I have literally no idea what that even means and we’re not buying Cheerios”). He started with a little gasp, and Todd could almost hear his eyes widening like a baby animal, “Like a Holiday”.  
“You think we should go on a holiday,” Todd asked rather sceptically, and not really like a question at all, more like a short and tired man attempting to comprehend just exactly what his taller and less tired friend is suggesting.  
And really, he shouldn’t have expected a detailed plan from Dirk, but he was rather hoping for something a little more substantial than the “Yes” that he received.  
Todd decided to repeat himself. “You think we should go on a holiday,” he stated without looking up from his phone.  
Dirk responds to the second statement a lot faster than the first, with an all too sincere, “I think we should buy plane tickets”.  
At this, Todd finally put down his phone to look at the taller man. Dirk stood around two feet from him and stared at Todd expectantly, with those wide and practically unblinking eyes. He’d started to understand that Dirk was being incredibly and ridiculously serious now, and that meant he needs to focus all of his attention on it so he didn’t end up like last time (three states over with nothing but 10 dollars, one old t-shirt, and a towel).  
“Is because you want to or because you have a ‘hunch’,” he inquires.  
Much like Dirk himself, the response was almost exaggerated. “Well,” he drags out, with a sort of mock offense, “I have a hunch that if I don’t get you out of this tiny little apartment-“  
“I thought you liked my apartment!” Todd interjected.  
“-then you’re going to be this grumpy all the time.”  
Todd responded automatically, “I’m not being-!” then took a second to process his thoughts a little and maybe calm down. “So who’s going on this trip then,” he started again.  
“I prefer to think of it as an adventure,” Dirk says, and of course Dirk said that. Todd almost had to consciously restrain himself from rolling his eyes.  
“Jesus f- okay who’s coming on this adventure,” he tried Obviously trying to cooperate with Dirk, he always seemed to be caught up in the wrong end of one of these conversations. Everything usually turned out okay though. Usually.  
“Well I was thinking,” He started, leaning back a little and attempting to not make eye contact with Todd, “you could ask your sister......?”. Dirk attempted to drag this out a little but Todd’s response was instant.  
“Nope, no way, she hates me, you know she hate me, and she is off having the time of her life with that rowdy 3” He rushes, finally standing to face Dirk. “Why would you even suggest that, you know-”  
Dirk cut him off again, asking, “Farah?”  
Todd stopped, mid-sentence but visibly interested in the prospect. He reached down to the sofa where he left his phone and started talking, almost to himself. “Yeah I'm sure she’d love something new to do, it’s been a while since I’ve seen her and-”  
Dirk cut him off again, much more alarmed this time, more like he was actually listening, which he was both times, of course, but the alarm in his voice made it clear that he was listening a little better this time. He quickly interjected with an “Actually! I um, I heard that she was,” He paused well aware that this was already going quite terribly, but continuing on because, well, why leave a job half done. “Out,” He decided on, before continuing for some reason, “Somewhere..... doing.... something very very important.”  
Todd could see that this made little to no sense. In fact, it was completely ridiculous, but Dirk had a reason for everything, so he played along. “And did she give you any specifics on that?” He asked, overly unconvinced and practically sarcastic.  
Dirk had a little more time to come up with something this time, so just started out with a long and very drawn out, “Mayybbeee,” before proceeding into a wildly unlikely, “She was in such a hurry to go out on a lead that she completely forgot to tell us where and when”  
“So we should call her to find out” Todd suggested, reaching again for his phone and almost forgetting how ridiculous Dirk’s story was.  
Dirk was able to respond with ease, “It would be rude to interrupt her when she's following up a lead”  
“You don’t even know if she's following up on a lead!”  
Dirk followed up immediately, “Very good assisting there Todd, but we should probably leave her to it, just in case.”  
Todd almost attempted to argue back, opening and closing his mouth a few times before sighing, defeated. He knew there was no point in it, and just sat back down on the sofa. “So no Amanda, and no Farah,” he says to Dirk, almost annoyed but more with a tone of inconvenience.  
Dirk began to settle himself into a seat just across from him, “Guess that leaves just the two of us,” he smiled a little, almost suggestively. Having been such weirdly close friends from the beginning, Todd thought nothing of it and stuck to his allocated persona of rolling his eyes and sighing and pretending to hate this weird thing they had going on.  
In a previous case, just before they had ended up three states over with nothing but one t-shirt, ten dollars, and a towel, Todd had made an excuse to Farah and a stranger ( an accomplice in that particular case) that he and Dirk needed to go off alone to find the missing key. Every time he looked back on it he doesn’t quite know why he said it; he hadn’t needed to, they would have been perfectly fine going all together.  
Every time he looked back at that scenario (just one of many, he would often think to himself) he pushed it aside as a problem for ‘Future Todd’, fully knowing that he would one day become Future Todd, but hoping it wouldn’t be for at least another four, hundred, ish years.  
“I can’t tell if this is a really specific case or you don’t think we can afford more than two plane tickets.”  
“Why does it have to be either,” Dirk responded in mock offense, Todd just raised his eyebrows back at him.  
He laughed a little to himself before responding, “Because this is you, Dirk.” He wasn’t quite sure what he meant himself, but Todd went with it, and hoped Dirk got something meaningful out of it.  
Neither of them said anything for a moment, and Todd took the opportunity to lie back down on the sofa. He decides to humour Dirk, and, in a way that can only be described as an almost sarcastic and slightly exaggerated man addressing a hyperactive golden retriever, he does exactly that.  
“Say,” he starts slowly, “that we do go somewhere.” He’s still lying down at this point, but Dirk is just a milimetre away from being stood up and fully attentive to what Todd is going to say. Todd, obviously, doesn’t notice. “Where exactly do you want to go?”

*** 

Todd and Dirk sat next to each other on the plane to Romania. It was surprisingly fancy, considering they hadn’t booked a particularly nice plane, but had gotten upgraded to first class as their tickets were double booked. When they moved, Todd seemed a lot happier at the prospect than Dirk, but neither seemed to clock the other’s expressions behind the carry-ons.  
The plane had been in the air for about fifteen minutes before either felt it necessary to talk to the other. They had talked a lot on the way to the airport, and in customs, but sat next to each other in the slightly fancy section of a not very fancy at all plane there was a weird silence that hung over them. They both attempted to settle into it but it stuck to them a little. Awkward but not too awkward. Awkward like Farah asking if they were a couple during their second (and honestly, quite disappointing) case, but not as awkward as Dirk’s hypothetical grandmother asking if they were a couple at a hypothetical family dinner. Dirk stopped himself abruptly, wondering why he was thinking about taking Todd to a hypothetical family dinner at his hypothetical grandmother’s house. Going back to Europe felt a little close to home, he figured.  
“Dirk,” Todd said briefly. His voice cracked a little but only because he hadn’t spoken in a while and was no idea how loud he meant to be. The noise startled Dirk, snatching him out of a weird fantasy of him, Todd, a random old lady (who he assumed to be his hypothetical grandma), and a rather large dinner table.  
“If we both, totally coincidentally, were in the seats that got upgraded to first class,” Todd said, Dirk nodded along, only half listening as he tried to get back his daydream, “then you could say, maybe, the universe is rewarding us again?”  
“I guess you could say that,” Dirk replied, not directly at Todd, but getting there as he slowly adjusts to the idea that he’s in the real world.  
“Then,” He continues slowly, unsure if Dirk is even paying attention, “That means we’re going in the right direction.” Todd said, still speaking slowly, and Dirk gradually honing in on the conversation at hand. He nodded a little in Todd’s direction.  
“Which means this is a case.”  
Dirk heard the sentence, and opened and closed his mouth a little a few times whilst trying to come up with a response.  
Todd cut him off before he could even start, “I swear to god if you say one more time that I'm good at assisting,”  
Dirk looked at him, fully invested, before downing the tiny plastic cup on his tray table, and immediately attempting to cough it back up. “Christ bloody hell are they trying to poison me was that bloody sparkling water I was expecting something like lemonade bloody hell”  
It wasn’t what he expected, but it did have the intended effect of waking him up. He turned to face Todd, tucking his left leg under his right on the seat to make it easier to talk to the man next to him.  
Dirk took a deep breath before launching into another long spiel, an overly excited one, that was in places a little concerning. “So remember in our first case, and that woman tried to kill me (ha! still a little traumatised) well turns out she knows a tech guy who made us an actual website!” Todd just sat there, looking at him, slightly concerned and opening his mouth slightly occasionally as if to interrupt him. He never did. Dirk just looked so happy saying “We're like a real agency!” that he could find it in him to interrupt. But by the time Dirk was finished, Todd felt it necessary to add “There are so many plot holes in what you just said but I'm just gonna let you roll with it because I feel like I have to”  
Dirk continued to smile as he went on, “You’re right you totally do. Okay so, like, also, just when I thought Farah couldn't get any more interesting, turns out she also knows how to work computers, and set up an email for the agency!”  
All Todd could focus on was the gigantic smile on Dirk’s face and how he could almost hear all the exclamation points.He finally collected himself enough to comment, “Look Dirk it's really not that hard and you-” before remembering to focus on the important parts of the story, “never mind continue.”  
Dirk, almost in his own little world, continued on, “Well we got an email in a couple of hours of it being set up and I think it's a case.”  
“But it might not be?”  
Dirk didn’t think on it too much before replying, “Well it was in, like, Romanian, which is a liiiitle rusty but it's basically a case.”  
“And now we're on a plane.”  
“Yes Todd, you've been my assistant for over a month now I thought you'd be getting more observant.”  
There was a pause whilst Todd tried to process everything that was going on, and Dirk just waited for him, immediately regretting the sarcasm and wondering if he’d said entirely the wrong thing. Self doubt, he assumed, was far more likely to be the death of him than any case the universe was currently throwing at him.  
“This is fucking ridiculous,” Todd finally responded, achieving a dirty look from a passing air hostess.  
They still had, like, ten hours left on the plane so Todd ignored Dirk pulling everything from pillows to an actual honest to god 2006 Nintendo DS Lite from his carry on, and decided to try and sleep.

***

“Well, this isn’t creepy and weird at all,” Dirk spoke into the darkness, Mostly to Todd, but somewhat to himself, the universe, and the hotel itself before him.  
“Don’t pretend you don’t know exactly what you’re walking into right now.”  
“You know I do sometimes want things to be a little normal”  
Todd knew exactly what they were walking into, mostly due to the nature of the agency and the nature of Dirk, but felt the need to visibly and over dramatically roll his eyes, sighing an almost rehearsed, ‘normal is boring’, to the delight if his friend.  
“Yes, you’re right, and besides we have a case to solve”  
Todd started to tune out at this point, he could vaguely hear Dirk going on about meeting up with some woman in the morning, but the pure essence of the building they were stood outside was captivating in a way he couldn’t decide was good or bad. In the darkness, he could just about make out the kind of butterscotch yellow exterior, adorned with sweeping burgundy patterning across the front as far as he could see. Not that he could see very far. Between the darkness and the trees, he didn’t think he could be sure of himself in anything.  
He was pretty sure, however, that this entire setting was straight out of an 1800s gothic horror book, of which he hadn’t read since high school. What he wanted to say was, ‘we are one hundred percent going to die, aren’t we.’  
But what actually came out was a far tamer, “Oh my god this is literally the most cliche thing I've ever seen.”  
“Oh come on Todd you were emo only a few years ago you must have seen some cliches in your time.”  
Todd resisted the urge to jab Dirk in the side with his elbow. “I have,” he said slowly, “And this beats them all.”  
Dirk looked annoying pleased with himself, especially for someone who had no idea what he was walking into. Apparently. “Perfect,” he smiled.  
As they walked into the building Todd was once again distracted and dazed. It was the first time they’d done any serious travelling for a case and he had practically decided to never go back to Seattle for anything ever again, because this, being different, was astounding. As if the rose-patterned wallpaper itself were speaking to him, he stood still and just took it all in. He almost forgot that, on any case, things like this don’t tend to last.  
Todd was amazed as Dirk started to talk with the woman behind the desk in Romanian. He almost didn’t notice until he heard her voice contrasted with Dirk’s lower one. He stood there awkwardly as Dirk smiled at her and made (presumably) polite conversation with a (presumably) complete stranger. Todd had no idea what was going on, and it only worried him more when Dirk pulled a face and turned to look at him.  
“Okay, slight miscalculation,” Dirk started, much to Todd’s annoyance and general displeasure, “I may or may not have accidentally maybe sort of booked the wrong kind of room.”  
Todd was a little confused, but part of him had seen a lot of movies and read a lot of books and he hated the part of him that knew exactly what was coming next. He wanted to utter a sort of ‘what, what?’ but ultimately knew he would be safer to just raise his eyebrows at Dirk and try not to die of embarrassment.  
Dirk didn’t look concerned at all. He really didn’t look like he was thinking about anything, just letting the universe do its thing around him. Dirk was surprisingly good at this when he wanted to be. “So this is a really unsurprisingly tiny hotel, inn, thingy, and they have like, eight, maybe, rooms and basically we have no choice and they’re doing a deep clean and we're staying in a room with one bed.”  
It was all very rushed, Dirk talking all at once. He didn’t even look at Todd until he had to, in order to judge his facial expressions to make sure Todd didn’t hate him. It wasn’t even Dirk’s fault. He was pretty sure the universe was just screwing with him, all the time.  
Todd awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, muttering,”Christ okay I can take the floor whatever.”  
Dirk didn't change the room on purpose but was glad it happened, meaning he wasn’t too thrilled Todd was going to sleep on the floor (because that can’t be good for his back and it will be much colder), and probably even less thrilled that Todd would choose the floor over him. In a totally, fun platonic non-weird ‘Todd isn’t going to abandon me to become best friends with a carpet’ way.  
Todd dealt with it, and Dirk asked about breakfast.

The second they walked into the room, they were met with a warm and pleasant glow, radiating from the colours in the room and the traditional (“Dated,” “No it’s cool, it’s vintage,”) lamps and accompanying lampshade hanging from the ceiling. The floors were mostly hard wood, a dark brown giving the room a comforting feeling neither of them were expecting, with a small, circular rug at the foot of the bed. Light from the moon shone in through the large window at the far end of the room, which wasn’t really very far, but it was the furthest point from the door. It lit up the room and the land behind the inn was practically glowing.  
The room radiated warmth as the wooden floorboards were dark and the rug and quilt on the bed were a matching combination of purples, yellows, and oranges. There were more colours on the quilt but those stood out to make the room more pleasant. The walls were cream but with the same plum as the furnishing as a stripe across the top.  
If Dirk were to describe the room he would say it looked homely but not lived in, and warm. Todd would say handmade but too small, as he couldn't see how cute and quaint the space was, living in such a small apartment himself.  
“I” Todd starts, dragging it out in a sort of pause, like he doesn’t know how to explain exactly what he’s thinking, which, he was pretty sure was just a montage of him ruining his neck and back from sleeping in various vans, “Am not sleeping on this floor.”  
Dirk put on his best voice, as if they weren’t on a case, as if he was just stating facts like a normal man with a normal job. “Well,” he tried, “it is a bed for two.” He gave a half-smile like he couldn’t care less, like he was just stating the obvious to a friend with no better option. Which, he guessed he was.  
He wasn’t.  
Todd raised his eyebrows, but shrugged his rucksack off of his back, walking around to the left side of the bed to put it down. He looked up at Dirk expectantly, but he was still in the doorway. Neither had bothered to close the door and both were so tired they were dead on their feet, so they both acted at once, slowly and calmly, Todd asking if he was okay to have the left side, and Dirk turning his back to him closing the door behind them.  
‘The universe at it again,’ Dirk thought, as he smiled and nodded at Todd, placing his own carry-on onto his preferred side.

***

Todd woke up to find Dirk loudly getting dressed and packing a bag in the darkness of their room. He was mostly glad that Dirk wasn’t in the bed with him when he woke up, considering the awkwardness of it all last night. He didn’t want to relive it all in the morning. If it even was morning, since it was unusually dark and he was still overly tired.  
The realisation of how weird it was didn’t quite hit him until the contradicting realisation that it wasn’t weird at all did. He was kind of zoned out, staring at Dirk pulling on a purple leather jacket that he’d never seen before when a loud exclamation from Dirk snapped him out of it.  
“Ah! Fantastic you’re awake,” he heard Dirk’s voice in the darkness. Todd wasn’t quite sure ‘awake’ is the word he would use, but the next thing he knew was Dirk turning the lights on in their small hotel room, lighting it up in a way that Todd would say ‘literally blinded him’.  
“Christ, Dirk. What time is it?” Todd mumbled, covering his eyes and reaching blindly for his phone. He could vaguely hear Dirk moving around the room.  
Dirk wandered over to the windows to open the curtains, and Todd almost expected even more light to shine through when he opened them.  
“Judging from the darkness,” Dirk says, peering through the small gap in the curtains he’s created, “I’d say it’s night”  
Todd thrust his head back into his pillow face first. Dirk thought he could hear Todd yelling at him, but since his face was a little bit obstructed by a pillow, he chose to believe Todd’s angry muffled yelling was more enthusiastic than anything else, so he got back to packing a small bag and putting some shoes on.  
By the time Dirk was ready to leave, Todd had just about finished being angry and rolled dramatically over on the bed. He attempted to collect himself, and then totally calmly asked Dirk, “Why the hell are we leaving to do anything when it’s still night time?”   
Dirk opened his mouth to speak but Todd was already talking again before he can start. “Wait, shit, are we meeting that woman, now?” He put together. He was pretty sure it was too early to actually think about anything at all, but he was pretty pleased with himself for working that one out.   
“Um, not exactly,” Dirk replied, pulling his backpack more securely on his back and moving his feet slightly.  
Todd sighed, defeated and knowing that nothing he said would change the fact that they were going somewhere in the middle of the night. Actually, he didn’t even know if it was the middle of the night. “Dirk wasn’t it dark when we got here? Have either of us slept at all?”  
“Well actually,” Dirk started, continuing his pattern of not quite looking at Todd when he was talking about weird things that he didn’t really want to think about, “It’s winter so it gets dark at like, 4pm, so really we probably got to this room before 7…” He paused for a second, pulling a phone out of his back pocket, “And now it’s 3am.”  
Todd took a long breath in, “So this wasn’t part of any plan?” It’s a question, but he wasn’t asking anyone in particular, he knew the answer, but still continued on with “I swear to god if you say that you have a hunch I will literally fall back asleep on the spot.”  
Dirk bounced on his toes a little, trying to think of something, anything, to say that wouldn’t be completely ridiculous.  
He stood awkwardly at the foot of the bed for a moment before going on to explain to Todd that, “We might have to be somewhere so I’d appreciate it if you got, maybe, a bit dressed.”  
“Should I even bother asking where?”  
“No. Probably not.”

After the (suspiciously well timed, Todd noted) taxi had taken them down some ridiculously stereotypically creepy roads, Dirk made a particularly grumpy Todd walk just a little further. They found themselves traipsing through a forest of some kind, somewhere that Todd wouldn’t admit freaked him out (a lot), and Dirk wouldn’t admit made him feel safe and hidden and content that there was probably no one around for miles but the two of them. The darkness was a little daunting at first, but they both got used to it, equally understanding that they had each other. But this was a very separate realisation that inevitably ended at the same point.  
Todd hated that he felt safe with Dirk, despite the occasionally horrific outcomes of their cases. Dirk was his best friend but he didn’t feel like that made up for everything that had happened to them. Even in the darkness, he felt a lot better knowing, even if he could barely see him, that Dirk was with him.  
He almost felt happy. He would’ve felt happy, if not for the constant rustling and the god damn fact they were in a foreign country and it was dark and, for fucks sake Dirk, he couldn’t wrap his head around why it was necessary to do this at 3am.  
“Ah, right, we’ve arrived,” Dirk said, standing at the foot of a hill, at the foot of a castle.  
“A castle,” Todd said. Just like every case, he knew he shouldn’t ask questions, but outwardly, he was starting to get sick of the weirdness of it all. ‘When it all makes sense’, he thought to himself, ‘then it’ll be worth it’.  
Neither said anything until they reached the top of said hill, next to the very closed and very eerie tourist information desk.  
“Okay now we’ve really arrived.”  
“Not only is this the worst idea either of us has ever had, and I don’t say that lightly at all,” Todd replied, not quite looking at Dirk, and probably speaking more to himself, “but this also feels a lot more illegal than usual.”  
Dirk just sighed with a smile on his face and bounced on his toes a little, “Could be worse though.”  
“I wasn’t going to ask how but I have a feeling you’re going to tell me anyway.”  
“Well,” Dirk started, “I was actually doing some research before we came here and did you know there’s a castle called The Poenari Castle-”  
“You know what,” Todd interjected, “I’m, I’m gonna stop you right there.” He walked slowly out in front of Dirk, making them both stop.  
“We don’t have any flashlights,” Todd told him. He had sort of adjusted to the idea that they were going to be going into the castle itself, and, honestly, he was terrified.  
Dirk replied quite positively, more optimistically than Todd would want, “Actually, I brought two, well, three, but the third one’s a spare.”  
The tone in Dirk’s voice didn’t serve to make him any more or less scared, but he figured it would probably be worse if Dirk was as scared as he was.  
Todd wanted to be angrier than he was, but could only respond with a simple ask of why they weren’t using them.  
“I don’t know, this is fun, spooky,” Dirk smiled, his excitement for the adventure being more prominent than his regard for safety. That was to be expected though.  
“I’m pretty sure there are coyotes in this forest, and probably like, murderers in the castle, don’t you dare talk to me about spooky as pass me a flashlight”  
And as if Dracula himself had come out from the castle in order to punch Todd in the face, the flashlight quickly flickers out and dies in his hands.  
“Dirk,”  
“Yes?”  
“You’re on a sort of wavelength with the literal universe right, it talks to you?”  
“Um, not quite Todd, but-“  
“Does it actually hate me?”  
“I don’t think the universe is capable of hating people to be honest Todd.”  
Todd just sighs and scratches the back of his neck, trying to keep back the little bit of growing fear. He refused to admit that he was scared, which was probably a mistake, but Todd showing any emotion that wasn’t annoyance at Dirk was about as likely as Dracula himself coming out from the castle in order to punch Todd in the face  
“This is unbelievable,” he said to himself, “Dirk can you pass me the spare please.”  
There was a short pause, almost a long enough pause to make another Dracula joke, but that would ruin the awkward tension of the scene.  
“I lied. There isn’t a spare.”  
Dirk mostly needs to feel in control of situations, so inventing a third flashlight seemed like a good idea, keeping up appearances of this being a good adventure where nothing could go wrong.  
Todd mostly hated himself for being scared, but also hated Dirk a bit for lying about the flashlight.  
Dirk thinks about what the universe wants from this, and what this means in relation to the perfectly timed taxi. Not too hard, though. If the universe hated either of them, Dirk was pretty sure it was him.  
Todd rolled his shoulders a little, psyching himself up for the inevitable entering of the castle. “Okay, this is cool this is fine not scared let’s just, do the leaf in the creation river or whatever”  
“Stream of... yes okay to the castle.”  
And the breaking and entering part came surprisingly easy since they only needed to think about one flashlight. They both thought it, but neither said anything.

 

“I still don’t see why we had to come to the castle at night”  
“Well it’s obviously because ghosts will feel more comfortable to appear, goodness Todd you’re getting worse and worse at assisting”  
“We totally could’ve done this in the morning you’re being ridiculous,” Todd responded. He paused for a moment and they continued on in silence.  
“Okay because first of all there isn’t even such a thing as ghosts,”  
Dirk replied somewhat nonchalantly “Yes if it’s going to be anything it’d be vampires,” he glanced to clock Todd’s nearly scared expression as they continue down the dark corridor, smiling to himself a little bit.  
Then Dirk stopped with a sudden and loud gasp that was really the jump scare Todd had been expecting. It didn’t stop him from clutching the hand that Dirk had thrown against his chest like his life depended on it.  
As Dirk slowly turned towards Todd, the latter slowly registered exactly what he was looking at; a tall, over-excited man in a ridiculous purple leather jacket with a grin like he’s solved the case already. Except Todd knew better than to think this was about anything nearly as important as the case that he’d been dragged halfway around the world to (barely) help solve. “Did you know that the story of Dracula was based around an Abbey in Whitby, Bram Stoker never even came to Transylvania” Dirk said all too quickly, signature excitable grin still plastered on his face.  
Before he was even halfway through the sentence, Todd was rolling his eyes and planning on walking away, before realising he was still, technically, holding Dirk’s hand against his chest.  
He was a little too awkward and a little too scared to let go, so begins his usual rant about how annoying Dirk is with the taller man’s hand still in his.  
Dirk didn’t notice that his hand wasn’t still in his pocket, because, despite all the detective work, he still considered himself a little clueless when he was with Todd. But he did notice that Todd had just referred to Whitby as ‘a Whitby’ in the context of him not having a single clue what one was.  
Just as Dirk was about to step in to defend the small town, something rustled above their heads, which caused Dirk to drop his torch and Todd to take a step closer to him. The torch flickered a little as it hit the stone floor with a crash that isn’t dissimilar, Dirk noted, to when you drop a bottle in the shower and it’s weirdly louder than it should be. At least, he also notes, that it got Todd to stop having a go at him.  
“Were those actual legitimate bats,” Todd asked, whispering in Dirks general direction.  
Dirk decided not to whisper, making Todd jump a little again with an, “I mean, probably, why not?”  
Todd hit him with his free arm, more painfully aware than ever that both of their hands are practically the only things separating the two of them in the dark corridor. He blushed despite himself, thankful for the darkness of the space.  
They were silent for another few seconds, almost attempting to work out what to do or say next, and then they both attempted to speak at the same time. Todd let out an exasperated “why would there be bats this is a tourist attraction?” whilst Dirk, almost like he’s in his own little world, went off on a little rant about Todd and Whitby (Whitby is quite obviously a place and honestly how could you not pick that up from the context) in a scathing whisper.  
But however they wanted their faux anger to be perceived, they both attempted to stop and let the other have at them.  
It was at this point that Dirk finally registered that his hand was still pressed against Todd’s chest, with Todd’s hand holding it there. Todd took this as Dirk letting him speak, and speak he did, whispering his argument at nobody in particular.  
He thought he could almost hear Todd talking to him in the dark but just opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish as he looked at the space between the two of them.  
“Todd,” he spoke into the darkness, almost unknowingly cutting off his friend mid sentence, “Are you?” he started, but paused just continuing to open and close his mouth, trying to think of the right thing to say.  
Todd knew that Dirk knew that they were almost sort of basically holding hands, but still didn’t say anything.  
“Scared?” Dirk finished, finally, somewhat amused when he knows he should at least be a little concerned.  
Todd immediately dropped Dirk’s hand at this and backed off; a blush continuing to rise in his cheeks. He tried to defend himself but stumbled over his words in a way that only made him seem more scared. Dirk was only slightly surprised by Todd’s fear of the place. He’d probably have been scared himself if he wasn’t so excited about being on a case. That, and the wonderful cliche of being alone in a dark room with his favourite person.  
The almost incoherent whispering about how Todd ‘totally obviously isn’t scared at all’ only started to slow down when Todd worked out that Dirk was just smiling at him in the dark. He felt like he should have been angry or at least offended that Dirk was just standing there, amused as Todd failed to talk himself out of this, but Dirk’s smile was anything but malicious.  
Todd stopped talking and Dirk just raised his eyebrows expectantly, affectionate smile still on his face. He wasn’t quite sure if Todd could see him but the look is comforting and kind. Todd blushed more furiously despite himself.  
Dirk didn’t feel the need to respond this time, and Todd was almost in awe that he didn’t have to keep listening to him, he just watched as Dirk picked up the torch in his left hand and starts walking forwards.  
“Come on Todd,” he called out behind him, “We’ve got a vampire to catch and a case to solve.”  
Todd finally regained some form of conscious, and had to break into a short jog to catch up with Dirk and not be left alone in the dark. When he reached him, Dirk wasted no time in slipping his hand into Todd’s and intertwining their fingers. Neither of them said anything.

***

Todd couldn’t remember much of the case after that. It had turned out that Dirk was right about going into the castle as they had found clues leading to an actual blood-drinking cult. No Dracula, but plenty of weird hippy vampires. Todd could remember feeling less uncomfortable about the room situation after the second night, and even more so on the third.   
Dirk recalled it as one of his least deathy cases (despite the cannibal cult, none of the deaths were caused by him), but still managed to leave that out when he called Farah. Neither of them had mentioned it, but they both knew that things would be a lot better, and very different, on their next case.


End file.
